/begin
One of my most daunting challenges in life is my tendency to get distracted. I stray from the task at hand and fail to adopt constructive routines, even when I’m fully aware that if I were to stick with them, I would benefit greatly. It’s a strange piece of cognitive dissonance - I’m entirely conscious of my shortcoming in this area, and I even find myself thinking “I ought to be doing ___________” instead of whatever less constructive activity I’m doing at the moment. Somehow, though, I still manage to waste a great deal of time each week on relatively pointless pursuits. It’s time that I’ll never get back, and I honestly, life is damn short. It sounds incredibly trite to say so, but I don’t care.
Enjoying life is paramount. I don’t think, though, that enjoyment can be defined as frivolous pursuits of short-term pleasure. There’s a place for it in the overall picture, and there’s nothing like it at certain moments. For instance, I’m writing this at 1:30 AM, having just arrived home from seeing Napalm Death play at a local club. I never thought I would get to see them here in Victoria, seeing as how they’re from England and probably don’t get a massive amount of tour support money to come this far west. Regardless, I was blown away by their performance. The sound guy didn’t have a great handle on things, and the PA system was much larger than what was required for the space. But it’s punk rock, dammit. Grindcore, even! Loud loud loud loud! It was the most intense, rabid display of metal I’ve seen onstage in a long time.
The point of all that is this: I’m going to have a crappy morning at school due to lack of sleep and ringing ears from all of the chaos. It’s worth it, though, because I got to experience first-hand the absolute aural destruction of one of the seminal bands in grind metal. Awesome.
I can enjoy the experience because it’s a rarity, and because I get to come home and write about how killer it was to be there. Could not enjoy it nearly as much if I was out every week seeing bands. Taking the long view of this whole thread, the thought that ties it all together for me is that it’s not a major distraction, or an activity that’s going to cause other aspects of my life to suffer. I’ll study a bit less tomorrow morning, but that’s alright.
The problem is that simple, less enjoyable things that are genuinely distractions instead of proper life experiences (and let’s face it, if you have yet to see Napalm Death live, you’re not experiencing the proper kind of life.) Funny pictures on the internet, Facebook, some news articles, a documentary about wild animals, a good book from the library. It’s all legitimate entertainment and I’d even say that it’s important to use the internet as a resource and to stay socially connected. But it’s so ridiculously easy to get sucked in and lose hours following tangential threads of topics, discussions, articles... it gets to be too much! Argh, too much! Too much information!
One of my favourite albums from last year was The Dillinger Escape Plan’s “Option Paralysis.” The title refers to the loose overall concept of the album which is the paralytic effect of an overwhelming volume of sensory input. I certainly suffer from it. It stays my hand from study and music and even family at times, and keeps me from accomplishing what I feel that I ought to.
I think that it’s a better time than ever to listen to what artists have to say. Music is so much more honest and telling than the news or the talking heads or the politicians and their sound bytes. We are all incredibly fortunate to have the opportunity to hear so much fantastic music every day. There’s a wealth of brilliant music to be found within a few keystrokes of where you are right now.
The feeling that “Option Paralysis” invoked was one of recognition. Maybe I enjoyed it for extremely narcissistic reasons, or perhaps even solipsistic reasons, if I can get philosophical for a second. I saw a little bit of myself reflected back at me through a piece of art. It kind of made me feel like I existed, because there was some reflection of my own struggles and thoughts that also existed in tangible form. Some piece of me was created unintentionally, and I found it and internalized it through music.
I don’t know if that makes any sense, but I’m sticking with it. It worked when I was typing it out. The point of this whole exercise was to write for 1,000 words without stopping, then put it out there in original form. I threw out 2 drafts this week because I felt that they were not good enough. I wasn’t happy with my little word creations. Consequently, I’m late posting this one. The next Saturday deadline looms large, but I’ll do it on time this week.
When my overall sense of organization and routine suffers, I can tell right away because my writing suffers. It’s largely because I spend less time doing it, but it’s also because the writing I produce is less reflective of how I want to portray myself through my writing. The voice doesn’t come out very well. I haven’t nurtured my creative faculties enough lately, and that’s why I’m doing this. Time to right the apple cart, as they say.
This is most certainly not the best or most interesting piece of work that I’ve produced for this blog. It’s probably rambling and derivative and disorganized, and if you’ve read this far, I thank you for sticking with me through it. I’m trying to exorcise some demons and cast them into the internet abyss. I’ve found that I can motivate myself by creating real deadlines and making them public, so that when I miss them, like I did with my blog this week, I feel guilty and people know about it, so I get called out on it. Gotta make a similar arrangement for school and work. I most certainly have not studied enough or worked enough in the last couple of weeks, and I can come up with a whole bag of excuses, but none of them will hold up under scrutiny.
Thus, I pledge to you, dear friend and reader, that I will do better. I have many shortcomings and many faults. I sometimes lack the strength to overcome them on my own. If I make them public enough, maybe the shame of public failure will keep me a bit more line. The folks here at home are wonderful, but they’re too forgiving.
I’ll get up early in the morning and work to earn some money. I’ll study more in the evening, because if my grades improve, I can qualify for scholarships, and free money is awesome. I’ll play more music and I’ll spend more time outside with my family, and my enjoyment of life will increase as a result.
/end
Word count: 1,194
Written between 1:43AM and 2:02AM, Wednesday, October 26th, 2011.
One of my most daunting challenges in life is my tendency to get distracted. I stray from the task at hand and fail to adopt constructive routines, even when I’m fully aware that if I were to stick with them, I would benefit greatly. It’s a strange piece of cognitive dissonance - I’m entirely conscious of my shortcoming in this area, and I even find myself thinking “I ought to be doing ___________” instead of whatever less constructive activity I’m doing at the moment. Somehow, though, I still manage to waste a great deal of time each week on relatively pointless pursuits. It’s time that I’ll never get back, and I honestly, life is damn short. It sounds incredibly trite to say so, but I don’t care.
Enjoying life is paramount. I don’t think, though, that enjoyment can be defined as frivolous pursuits of short-term pleasure. There’s a place for it in the overall picture, and there’s nothing like it at certain moments. For instance, I’m writing this at 1:30 AM, having just arrived home from seeing Napalm Death play at a local club. I never thought I would get to see them here in Victoria, seeing as how they’re from England and probably don’t get a massive amount of tour support money to come this far west. Regardless, I was blown away by their performance. The sound guy didn’t have a great handle on things, and the PA system was much larger than what was required for the space. But it’s punk rock, dammit. Grindcore, even! Loud loud loud loud! It was the most intense, rabid display of metal I’ve seen onstage in a long time.
The point of all that is this: I’m going to have a crappy morning at school due to lack of sleep and ringing ears from all of the chaos. It’s worth it, though, because I got to experience first-hand the absolute aural destruction of one of the seminal bands in grind metal. Awesome.
I can enjoy the experience because it’s a rarity, and because I get to come home and write about how killer it was to be there. Could not enjoy it nearly as much if I was out every week seeing bands. Taking the long view of this whole thread, the thought that ties it all together for me is that it’s not a major distraction, or an activity that’s going to cause other aspects of my life to suffer. I’ll study a bit less tomorrow morning, but that’s alright.
The problem is that simple, less enjoyable things that are genuinely distractions instead of proper life experiences (and let’s face it, if you have yet to see Napalm Death live, you’re not experiencing the proper kind of life.) Funny pictures on the internet, Facebook, some news articles, a documentary about wild animals, a good book from the library. It’s all legitimate entertainment and I’d even say that it’s important to use the internet as a resource and to stay socially connected. But it’s so ridiculously easy to get sucked in and lose hours following tangential threads of topics, discussions, articles... it gets to be too much! Argh, too much! Too much information!
One of my favourite albums from last year was The Dillinger Escape Plan’s “Option Paralysis.” The title refers to the loose overall concept of the album which is the paralytic effect of an overwhelming volume of sensory input. I certainly suffer from it. It stays my hand from study and music and even family at times, and keeps me from accomplishing what I feel that I ought to.
I think that it’s a better time than ever to listen to what artists have to say. Music is so much more honest and telling than the news or the talking heads or the politicians and their sound bytes. We are all incredibly fortunate to have the opportunity to hear so much fantastic music every day. There’s a wealth of brilliant music to be found within a few keystrokes of where you are right now.
The feeling that “Option Paralysis” invoked was one of recognition. Maybe I enjoyed it for extremely narcissistic reasons, or perhaps even solipsistic reasons, if I can get philosophical for a second. I saw a little bit of myself reflected back at me through a piece of art. It kind of made me feel like I existed, because there was some reflection of my own struggles and thoughts that also existed in tangible form. Some piece of me was created unintentionally, and I found it and internalized it through music.
I don’t know if that makes any sense, but I’m sticking with it. It worked when I was typing it out. The point of this whole exercise was to write for 1,000 words without stopping, then put it out there in original form. I threw out 2 drafts this week because I felt that they were not good enough. I wasn’t happy with my little word creations. Consequently, I’m late posting this one. The next Saturday deadline looms large, but I’ll do it on time this week.
When my overall sense of organization and routine suffers, I can tell right away because my writing suffers. It’s largely because I spend less time doing it, but it’s also because the writing I produce is less reflective of how I want to portray myself through my writing. The voice doesn’t come out very well. I haven’t nurtured my creative faculties enough lately, and that’s why I’m doing this. Time to right the apple cart, as they say.
This is most certainly not the best or most interesting piece of work that I’ve produced for this blog. It’s probably rambling and derivative and disorganized, and if you’ve read this far, I thank you for sticking with me through it. I’m trying to exorcise some demons and cast them into the internet abyss. I’ve found that I can motivate myself by creating real deadlines and making them public, so that when I miss them, like I did with my blog this week, I feel guilty and people know about it, so I get called out on it. Gotta make a similar arrangement for school and work. I most certainly have not studied enough or worked enough in the last couple of weeks, and I can come up with a whole bag of excuses, but none of them will hold up under scrutiny.
Thus, I pledge to you, dear friend and reader, that I will do better. I have many shortcomings and many faults. I sometimes lack the strength to overcome them on my own. If I make them public enough, maybe the shame of public failure will keep me a bit more line. The folks here at home are wonderful, but they’re too forgiving.
I’ll get up early in the morning and work to earn some money. I’ll study more in the evening, because if my grades improve, I can qualify for scholarships, and free money is awesome. I’ll play more music and I’ll spend more time outside with my family, and my enjoyment of life will increase as a result.
/end
Word count: 1,194
Written between 1:43AM and 2:02AM, Wednesday, October 26th, 2011.
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